Game 1: Monday, May 1st, 2017
Playing for the first time since the “Dustin Pedroia brutally stabbed a knife into every one of his teammates backs, so Manny Machado would still be his friend” saga, the Orioles traveled to Fenway to take on the Red Sox in a four game series. The tension was tight as the AL East rivals took the field and the game commenced. Highlighted by a Manny Machado homer and a diving grab in the 9th inning, the Orioles confidently walked in and took game 1.
Overall, it was your typical early May baseball game…until all hell broke loose, shit hit the fan, and the whole world got involved. Apparently, as their Red Sox were being handled on the field, the Red Sox fans were staging their own battle in the seats of Fenway. After, the game, Adam Jones, the Orioles center fielder brought to light the situation that developed in the outfield between him and the fans. The people of Boston waged a racial war on center fielder Adam Jones as they tossed racial slurs and peanuts at the African American player over the course of the 9-inning game. As soon as the news broke out, the online world went nuts. Sports fans to African American feminists of all shapes and sizes were instantly triggered. People were calling Boston the most racist city in America, anointing Adam Jones a national hero, and unleashing every humanitarian take they could think of about the topic of racism. I’m no different. I have one take here, and it’s pretty hot, so put your sunglasses on:
- Isn’t it really more of the Orioles coaching staff’s fault for letting Adam Jones be the only black starter on their team in the City of Boston where their football team refuses to align with the norm by deploying 3 white receivers in Julian Edleman, Chris Hogan, and Danny Amendola and recently signing a white running back in Rex Burkehead? I’m not sociologist or anything, but it seems like they were setting up Adam Jones to fail.
Fortunalty, the only thing that could make this situation even more entertaining happened.
Yes, you heard him right. Start lining up outside the visitor’s locker room at Fenway Red Sox fans, that includes you Mark Wahlberg, because Adam Jones is dealing knuckle sandwiches.
Every person in the US was glued to their phones as Game 2 started; they needed to see what was going to happen next. The two teams did not disappoint. The fun began when Adam Jones, batting second, walked up to the plate in the top of the 1st, and the same N-word bombing crowd stood to their feet and gave the most sarcastic standing ovation in the history of forever. Obviously, Jones Ks…he’s big time rattled.
The follow up act is accomplished by none other than ace Chris Sale who throws behind Manny Machado in the very next at bat getting an instant warning to both benches from the umpire. This is a classic leadership move to back up the fans in the crowd. Go after the best player and fuck with the Orioles more than ever. Also, he wasted a pitch and still struck him out looking. Chris Sale ended up striking out the first 5 Orioles to start the game ending with 11 total, but Manny Machado was able to cook up some revenge when he hit a bomb off him in the 7th, his second this series. The Red Sox won 5-2, not coincidentally, the same score as game 1. Don’t worry, there’s more.
After the game, Manny Machado spewed 12 fuck bombs in a top 5 rant of all time while also managing to say he had no respect for the Red Sox and to just hit him already. I think the Red Sox pitching staff knows what to do. Machado wants some.
Game 3 is tonight at 6:10, and I don’t think I could be any more excited for the shit that is about to go down. Enjoy baseball while its back.