The Celebration of a lifetime. One Darty for the ages. A blowout of alcohol, beer, liquor, margs, grilling, yard games, beer pong, music, anything else a college student could possibly ask for, and even more. One might even call it the Spring Oktoberfest. If you still have no idea what I’m talking about or want to learn more (like I had to because I am also a first time attendee), there’s no better description of this celebratory day than from the words of the originators themselves:
“It’s happening, the day is quickly approaching. We are in the planning stages again. We hope to go bigger and better this year. We are going to keep the Marg bar and grilling and are considering extending beer pong to Beer Olympics. Stay tuned.
For those of you who may have forgotten what this celebration is all about, please refer to the story of the holiday’s origin below:
Although commonly ignored in Mexico, in honor of our neighbors to the south, we will be celebrating the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over the French forces at the Battle of Puebla somewhat belatedly on the Seis de Mayo. You may be asking yourself, “But I thought it was ‘Cinco de Mayo’?” Yes, that is when the last key strategic assault was initiated, but contrary to popular ignorant American belief, the battle actually lasted until at least the 7th. Ergo, we feel that is necessary to extend the festivities in order to fully honor all 83 Mexican soldiers who perished. ©2016″
Do you understand now? Do you get the purpose? This event has been described as such:
“Seis De Mayo is an amazing event that the City of La Crosse not only wants, but needs.” -The Creators.
Yeah, you better be fuckin amped. You also better be thankful for what the Mexican soldiers did to give you this day. Without further ado, here are the do’s and don’ts for the 2017 El Seis De Mayo. (*Bonus do’s and don’ts from the Host’s themselves)
Do: Drink From Morning til Night
If you plan on dartying then winding it down by evening to be able to sober up and spend the rest of Saturday studying for your finals next week, then please Get Fucked. This day is all about celebration in the now, and the only way to do that is enjoy the endless amounts of fun and entertainment provided by the creators of the event as well as the city of La Crosse. We’ve been fortunate enough to receive the itinerary of events, so please check them out below:
Drive that liquid courage into you early, and if you ride the buzz just right, you’ll have all the confidence you need going into finals.
*Don’t: Black Out and OD
The rookie move of any darty. The classic situation of the kid gets up, shotguns a beer, starts rippin’ pulls like there’s no tomorrow, has shower beers, attempts double shots and shooters, and then boofs a beer within the first hour of being awake and still thinks they’re going to be good for the day. Remember this is a full day event, not a few hours in the night where you can black, pass-out, and go to bed happy. Be a vet at Seis De Mayo and realize that it’s a marathon full of sprints, coasts, and walks. Don’t be this guy the whole day, just at certain parts of the day:
*Do: Play Yard Games
I don’t know about you, but I love yard games, and alcohol simply adds even more games to the plethora of fun. You got beersby, you got beer pong, you got cornhole, you got tippy cup, you got beer hockey, you got boom cup, you got literally anything your brain can think of. I’m not saying all these games will automatically be there, but the only way to ensure they are, is bring them yourselves. A wise man once said, “a party’s not a party unless everyone brings out the party with or within them.”
*Don’t: Leave Without Picking Up At Least 1 Can.
Nobody cares if you’re the Queen of England. If you think you’re important enough to hurt Mother Nature then news flash…you’re not. Sharing the cleaning duties by picking up one measly can per person and depositing it into the trash is such a simple and easy task that cleans up the community, keeps our Earth clean, helps the hosts afterwords, and makes the party more fun for everyone. If you leave the party once and throw away a can, then come back to the party, yes, you need to throw another can away. There’s no grandfather clause at El Seis De Mayo. Also, don’t break shit because shit will come back to break you. Guaranteed.
Do: Dress to Impress
You never know when your going to need to make a first impression. When you come to a darty, especially one of this caliber, you want people to know that you mean business. For everyone: wear a dope jersey, Hawaiian shirt, no shirt, jorts, cowboy hat, flannel cutoff, college attire (because we love college), anything you think that will show the celebration is alive and well when it comes to you, or just wear something… nnniiiiiicccceeeeee and tight.
Don’t: Forget to BYOM.
Yes, bring your own meat. Yes, in more ways than one. El Seis De Mayo comes with the best, obviously, and that means a world class grill master will be in attendance. He’ll cook your hot dogs, brats, polish sausages, burgers, steaks, chicken, and maybe even other stuff. However, don’t be a mooch, nobody likes mooches. A man’s meat is a man’s meat, and a women’s meat is a … man’s meat too? BYOM. Nothing tastes better when you got a good buzz going than greasy, All-American meat.
*Do: “Marg, Corona, Marg, Corona, Tequila, Repeat.”
Do it for the tradition.
Have a fun time, darty hard, and get fuckin drunk. Let’s do it.
(P.S. If you notice a man, who people are yelling hurricane at, do indeed get in the path of the hurricane. Trust it.)