It’s finally back. Good God no more watching baseball and hoping the Yankees cover the shit spread. Real sports are back and I couldn’t be happier. The NFL season comes with many different stories. Zeke, the Pat’s repeat, Andrew Luck’s injury. It has been one hell of a story line offseason. Nothing short of pure brilliance that the greatest professional sport on the planet. So, with that, here are my 2017 NFL predictions. These were made before Tommy B shat the bed last night and got manhandled by the Chiefs. I stay true to my predictions. Here we go…
So, the AFC North. The Steelers are the clear favorite as long as Bell lays off the Devil’s Lettuce for a whole season. Big Ben and AB will be the dynamic duo they always are. You’ll see Benny Boy wearing a walking boot after 13/16 games this year but that tough motherfucker won’t miss a game. Love Steel City this year. Cincy and Baltimore are underwhelming with two of the most average QB’s in the league (News flash buddy, Joe Flacco isn’t elite, not even close). Then in Cleveland…… it’s Cleveland.
Not sure why the graphic says Houston at 8-7 but it’s supposed to say 9-7. The Texans need a QB which the Titans have. Tennessee is one of the league’s most intriguing teams. Mariota may be the best dynamic QB we’ve seen since Mike Vick. Pair that with a solid run game and an above average defense, you’ve got a division title. I like Indy when Andrew Luck is playing but shit, that bearded mf may not play till November. FUCK THAT. Jacksonville, good luck with the hurricane. Your season may be more of a disaster. Too soon? Prolly
The AFC East, AKA the Pats. Maybe not so fast though! Jay Cutler and his trio of receivers are coming for that ass this year. Yes Tom looked like shit last night but relax. You’re the Patriots, you have the most talented roster in the league, you’ll be fine. Buffalo and New York may be the worst the league has to offer. Good fuckin’ luck boys. Love you Bill’s Mafia.
To round off the AFC West I’ve got the Raiders dominating. With Carr healthy this team is remarkably better than last year. With the development at receiver and a stingy defense look out for the Raiders to make a big splash. In KC we saw promise from Alex Smith and Tyreek Hill. That kid’s nuts, don’t get me wrong but eventually people figure out how to scheme against you. LA is on their way and Denver is a God damn mess. Next.
To the NFC North. Aaron Rodgers has no excuses. He can’t point any fingers. This season is 100% on him. The Packers have not had this talented of a roster since 2010 when they won it all. In Minnesota we see Sammy Two-Sleeves under center. Until the Vikings get a true quarterback who can throw more than ten yards i’ll start to take them seriously. Detroit spent good money to keep Stafford and the Bears gambled heavy on a man “kissin’ titties” Good luck fellas.
I don’t like buying into Atlanta’s dominance of last year but they return damn near everyone and I don’t really see them falling to anyone in the South. Carolina I do like. Cam is done with his SB hangover and is ready to lead his team again. Christian at back will help balance the offensive attack and the defense that was suspect a year ago has grown and developed as a group. Tampa is close. They’re right on the cusp of greatness. Jameis is a stud and a great leader. Don’t be surprised if they sneak into a WC spot. In NOLA it’s basically how long ’till Brees calls it. Sad part is, there’s not really a backup plan…..
Get pissed Dallas fans. Guess what, if a defensive coordinator has a whole season’s worth of film on your QB and RB they won’t be as effective. These guys aren’t stupid. New York is good not great. I need to see them play a few weeks before I truly have my head wrapped around them. Philly is like Tampa. Poised to make a splash, problem is the NFC is stacked with good teams and a playoff spot may be out of reach. In Washington, I don’t see anything positive. Cousins could throw for 5,000 yards and only win four games, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Finally we have the NFC West. I like the Hawks a lot. Solid backfield with Russell and whoever the hell else they put back there. Also they have a sturdy defense that could handle some of the best offenses the NFL has to offer. In Arizona, it’s the waiting game with Carson Palmer. Like the Saints, they could see some tough years as there is no good backup plan in place. LA is on the rise and San Fran is in shambles. Goff is close for LA but the Niners don’t have a true starter. Need that to win. Period.
Here’s my playoff predictions. I think Cam and the Panthers will rebound and make it back to the Divisional Round, I also think the Packers are the team to beat int the NFC. Even though they may not have a first round bye I believe this is the year for them. New York isn’t strong enough defensively to move on and the Seahawks have a questionable pass game.
For the AFC as you can see I’m very high on the Raiders. I believe if there’s anyone that could knock off New England, it’s Oakland. However, Tom and the Patriots IMPROVED in the offseason and I think they will continue their dominance in the AFC. The Dolphins will be fine with Jay Cutler and the Titans are a few players away from being a true contender.
In the Super Bowl I think it would be the matchup of the ages. Packers vs Patriots. ’96 all over again. Brady vs Rodgers. The GOAT vs the Kid (using “kid” lightly, he’s in his 30’s). In the end I feel as though Green Bay has made enough moves to make themselves the best team in the league. I think Aaron and The Pack are destined for greatness.